Chewbacabra Farms, when SHTF

My god, Christmas is such a tidal wave of a holiday. It’s an earthquake of family, gifts, friends, food and feelings. It rockets towards you each year and then just washes over you and leaves you sort of shell shocked and water logged in it’s wake. There is something about the ride home with the kids from that last Christmas stop on the trail. Looking at things from their perspective and listening to what they take away from everything. Watching them grow up in the back seat behind you. Thank god for the Cupcake Morons this year, them and their mom.

Free and Healing for Fourteen Days, 5 Hours and 17 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 2 Days and 11 Hours, by avoiding the use of 711 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $142.29.

Well, finally made 2 weeks without a single cigarette or drop of alcohol. I am not sure how man of you are smokers or are thinking about picking it up.  If you are one of those folks quit while you can!  This has been absolute hell.  I wish I had never seen a smoke in my whole life.  The booze was no problem at all, but the smokes.  I would give anything for another one, therefore I can’t have another one.   Won’t post on this again until I get an actual month under my belt but they say the first two weeks are the hard part.  Challenge Accepted!

Cuba - Free and Healing for Eight Days, 20 Hours and 16 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 12 Hours, by avoiding the use of 442 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $88.48.

these last couple of days have been the hardest so far.  Found an unopened pack of cigarettes in the house and gave them to the room mate to destroy before i smoked every last one of them.

Cuba - Free and Healing for Seven Days, 14 Hours and 32 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 7 Hours, by avoiding the use of 380 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $76.08.

well, i had a small rage fit this morning but mostly starting to feel pretty good about the whole thing…

Cuba - Free and Healing for Five Days, 1 Hour and 5 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 21 Hours, by avoiding the use of 252 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $50.47.

ugh, 5 days… thought things would be better by now.  still hate the world

Cuba - Free and Healing for Four Days, 1 Hour and 48 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 16 Hours, by avoiding the use of 204 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $40.76.

not sure why but i feel worse today… must just be a thing… onward!

Day 3 in the books, no cheating or slipping and i might be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.  This sorta seems easier than the last time I quit… don’t want to jynx it though.  Might even start blogging more farm stuff here shortly if i venture outside of my personal prison.

Day 2 and it’s not getting any easier.  cravings are strong but staying mostly asleep to get by this first part… good grief!

hopefully will get back to blogging soon, right now i just hate everything.

hour zero through fist 24 hours…

I’ve mostly just selp with some sleeping pills.  I had to go out and pick up a cupcake moron.  It’s hard to keep a good train of thought going.  Much rage and many cravings.  This isn’t going great. I haven’t cheated yet, but I feel like I want to really bad. Also giving up all booze (including beer) and liking people and animals.